Category: Vignettes
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The West Germany Match
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Our free Pluto app started playing soccer while I was preoccupied with a project. Husband said, “Look, it’s the Federal Republic of Germany! ‘F-R-G.’” “Mm-hmm,” I said, glancing up just long enough to register that they apparently wear very short shorts in the Federal Republic of Germany, but this did…
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Executive Dysfunction
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Husband: “The weather looks kind of like it wants to give me a nice day. But it also kind of looks like it wants to give us that rain we’ve been needing. And now it’s just stuck somewhere in the middle and not giving us either of those things.” Me:…
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The Ozempic Jingle
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Husband: “Whoever wrote the Ozempic jingle must be pretty proud to have written such a catchy jingle.” Me: “It was definitely clever to pair those lyrics with that melody, but I mean…you know it was an actual song before Ozempic, right?” He did not know, so I’m just here to…
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Hotel Nonsense
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We’re starting to scope out hotels for our honeymoon. After our stays in Strasbourg and Whitefish, we learned our lesson about finding photos of the restroom BEFORE renting the room, because too many designers are now doing…whatever this absolute nonsense is.
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Cookies and Nitrous
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Two hours after my filling was replaced, with three-quarters of my face still frozen, our sweet neighbor knocked on the door to deliver our annual portion of her homemade Christmas cookies. When the door closed, I looked at the cookies, and I looked at Husband. He laughed. “I know how…
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Not Wizards
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When we two newlyweds were headed to the airport in Atlanta on Saturday morning, I saw a random guy walking down the street in a robe of some sort. I was trying to place what kind of robe it was. My first thought was maybe he was a judge, but…
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Simply Having an Annoying Christmastime
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You may or may not know this, but I LOVE Christmas. Love. And Christmas music. I could and do joyfully listen to Christmas music for six weeks straight every year and never get sick of it. There are very few Christmas songs that I dislike. (I don’t even hate that…
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What is IT?
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Fiancé: “What is IT, anyway? Like, what’s he supposed to be?” Me: “An alien.” Fiancé (sounding, to my ear, unconvinced): “Ohhh.” Me: “He came down to Earth from space.” Fiancé: “REALLY, Carrington? Is that what aliens do?” Me: “I wasn’t explaining what aliens are; I was justifying my position with…
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Pumpkin Pie Cake
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Fiancé: “How was your day?” Me: “Someone brought in a cake with a layer of pumpkin pie filling baked into the top and a layer of Graham cracker crust on the bottom! So…it was like that.”
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Matchy-Matchy and Twee
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Me: “You know how I like to be all matchy-matchy and twee, and I’m good at it! I’ve never been into pattern-mixing.” Fiancé, mouth full of bagel: “Mm-hmm….” Me: “…But what do you think about this as a concept?” *holds up a red-and-white-striped cotton shirt and navy-and-white-checked linen jacket* Fiancé:…