Two hours after my filling was replaced, with three-quarters of my face still frozen, our sweet neighbor knocked on the door to deliver our annual portion of her homemade Christmas cookies.
When the door closed, I looked at the cookies, and I looked at Husband. He laughed.
“I know how badly you want those,” he said. “It would be a shame if someone ate them all before you could get after them!”
“‘A’s exac’y wha’ I was af’ai’ of!” I said, with fear in my eyes and heart. The dentist had said 1-2 hours, I was fairly sure, but when I’d looked it up to confirm, the Internet had told me 3-4 hours. He laughed, producing a sugar cookie (one of my favorites) and eating it before my eyes. 
An hour of frantic Googling later, I said, “‘Iss says I can ea’ af’e hoo hou’s. Iss been ‘hwee!” But a couple of lines down, something horrible caught my eye. “‘Iss says I can’h ea’ any’hing suga’y fo’ a WEEK! ‘A’s no’ possibwe! Iss Ch’issmas!!
“
Guidelines be damned; after thinking about it for half a second longer, I ate two Christmas cookies on one side of my mouth, and they were glorious. So glorious I can almost smile with both halves of my face again.
On a separate note, I had a full-on panic attack in the chair today after discovering firsthand with no warning ever that anesthetic can cause your whole eyelid to go numb, so I discovered nitrous for the first time ever.
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